My School Yard Bully...
I have been on the pump for 5 weeks so far and I really like it. I did not realize how much of a burden it was to have to take so many shots each day. I’m not complaining about them because that’s just my reality, but it was not until I had to tell myself each night- “it’s ok to fall asleep on the couch because you don’t have to remember to take your Lantus,” that I realized how much of a pain it has been.
I feel like I really have a good handle on my basal and bolus rates, or as good as you’d expect to get. I even used a temporary basal when mulching my yard this weekend. So it seems like this pump transition was easier than I expected.
The problem is the “I can eat anything, anytime” feeling. And the dreaded pump weight gain. I had been doing pretty well in terms of trying to correct blood sugars, but not over eat, thereby increasing my insulin needs. In general, I’ve always been pretty good about not overeating. Well, that is till these little cuties came into the office…
Don’t they look sweet? Sure, I want to help you get your saleswoman of the year badge. I want to support my local troop. So, I got some thin mints. 4 cookies are 22 CHO. That’s not so bad, right? So I added a few to my lunch and continued on my way.
I was driving after work, on my way to class. It’s about a 30 minute drive. I COULD NOT STOP eating those damn cookies! It was like I had been possessed. I ate the whole sleeve on my way to class. In my head I was having the pump weight gain versus good A1c debate…. I gave in and took what I guessed to be the right does. Counting the number of those devilishly delicious morsels that I actually ate was just too “real”. About an hour into class I was so thirsty that I wanted to suck up the puddle outside the window. I ended up in the bathroom, drinking water from my hands. Thank god no one saw me.
Most of the time, I feel like I am really in control of this disease. And then there are times, in the back of a floral design school, where the reality comes out. While I can happily live my life playing games with this thing called diabetes, I was reminded, once again. That I better play by its rules.
I feel like I really have a good handle on my basal and bolus rates, or as good as you’d expect to get. I even used a temporary basal when mulching my yard this weekend. So it seems like this pump transition was easier than I expected.
The problem is the “I can eat anything, anytime” feeling. And the dreaded pump weight gain. I had been doing pretty well in terms of trying to correct blood sugars, but not over eat, thereby increasing my insulin needs. In general, I’ve always been pretty good about not overeating. Well, that is till these little cuties came into the office…
Don’t they look sweet? Sure, I want to help you get your saleswoman of the year badge. I want to support my local troop. So, I got some thin mints. 4 cookies are 22 CHO. That’s not so bad, right? So I added a few to my lunch and continued on my way.
I was driving after work, on my way to class. It’s about a 30 minute drive. I COULD NOT STOP eating those damn cookies! It was like I had been possessed. I ate the whole sleeve on my way to class. In my head I was having the pump weight gain versus good A1c debate…. I gave in and took what I guessed to be the right does. Counting the number of those devilishly delicious morsels that I actually ate was just too “real”. About an hour into class I was so thirsty that I wanted to suck up the puddle outside the window. I ended up in the bathroom, drinking water from my hands. Thank god no one saw me.
Most of the time, I feel like I am really in control of this disease. And then there are times, in the back of a floral design school, where the reality comes out. While I can happily live my life playing games with this thing called diabetes, I was reminded, once again. That I better play by its rules.
posted by caren at 11:20 AM
5 Comments:
I just finished off my last box of thin mints. This is the longest gs cookies have ever lasted in my house! woo hoo!
I haven't come across Girl Scout cookies. Just as well because I could scarf down a whole box of Samoas in one sitting.
There MUST be something in those cookies!! It's just not right now many you can eat at once!
Way to go Kassie...! :)
I ate a box of Lemon Pastry Girl Scout Cookies in one day. ONE DAY. My pump, though only on it's third day, was drained.
Damn those badge earning temptresses. Damn them!
Yeah, it's amazing how that happens, isn't it? I will sometimes find myself "overindulging" in something, too and the guilt just washes over me. It makes me feel like such a bad diabetic and so crappy...basically just out of control and that's a feeling I hate. :(
It's weird b/c I'll be sitting there just eating away at something and as I'm doing it, I realize I'm not enjoying it anymore and I'm not hungry. But sometimes it's like I can't stop.
Obviously, people eat for other reasons than just being hungry, speaking as a notorious emotional eater. But I guess if we recognize that we should know how to prevent or at least lessen these things from happening. That's what I would think, but that's often not the case.
I guess we're all human and bound to slip up now and then. The point is to not beat yourself up too much for it, get back up, and keep trying. Oh and to have your pump ready to cover your little food fests, when they happen. :)
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