Mutiny!
I often feel that I am just the spirit in this body, and it really would not matter who the body was, I would be essentially the same. It’s a bit more voodoo/ sci-fi than I generally tend to believe, but it’s true. All in all, I have been quite happy with this body. (minus the auto-immune, shall we say, issues) However, recently I am afraid that the vessel may be rebelling. Indeed, we have a mutiny on our hands. 
My saline trial is going just fine. I am changing the infusion sets with minimal hassle and pain. After about 30 minutes the sting from the needle goes away and I am all set for a few more days. I am figuring out which pants work best with the pump and where I can hide it when I am out and about. My body seems to not mind the pump. Hooray! The problem is that I also have to continue to take my shots until next Tuesday. I did not think that this could possibly be an issue, having taken 4-6 shots a day for 24 years. But I think this old ship has had enough of the double life.
I have never bruised so much from shots in my life. It does not seem to matter, leg, butt, belly… bruise, bruise, bruise….and I am not talking little bruises. Big, black, ugly ones. Sigh.
The final straw for me happened this weekend. I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and to see a band. The restaurant/bar was about an hour from my house. After trying on several outfits to make sure the pump was well out of site. I packed my bag, remembering to bring my bedtime Lantus, just incase I was out too late, and I jumped in the car (I was SO proud of the fact that I brought my Lantus with me). I really was feeling like I finally had a good grip on my health.
We met, sat down and started chatting. I could chat with this particular girlfriend for days and still have things to talk about. After a margarita and some chips, I reach for my humalog. It was almost as soon as my arm started to go for my purse that I knew. It was going to be a long reach! My humalog was sitting at home, on my kitchen table. Damn. Damn Damn. I felt like I did in 5th grade when I forgot about a homework assignment, naked and vulnerable, and not anything that could easily fix the situation.
I had ordered a low carb dinner anyway so we ate. Then gave up, what I thought to be the perfect seats to watch the band, and we went on a quest for humalog. 5 pharmacies later, we found it. I convinced them to ignore the “prescription required” on the box, telling the 18 year old behind the counter that yes, it was novalog that you need a script for and not this... I paid my, gsap, $85 for the bottle and we headed back. (I knew that I could get R if all else failed.)
Of course we lost our seats, and had to pay a cover to get back into the same bar that we were just in. But the part that irks me the most, is that my diabetes managed to change our plans. I hate that. A lot. My friend was great, and we had fun trying to find a CVS that had an open pharmacy in a strange town, but for that hour I was different. “Stop your plans and do nothing till you do this” different. That’s that hardest part of diabetes for me. I generally blend in with the crowd, my trials and tribulations of having this disease were my own issue, and until very recently (learning to share those burdens with my husband), no one other than myself saw all of the work that makes it look easy to others.
It amazes me that 24 years later, I am still learning and adjusting to this disease. And yes, the largest bruise to date was a result from my new, very expensive bottle of humalog.
I am ready to get this pump show on the road!
My saline trial is going just fine. I am changing the infusion sets with minimal hassle and pain. After about 30 minutes the sting from the needle goes away and I am all set for a few more days. I am figuring out which pants work best with the pump and where I can hide it when I am out and about. My body seems to not mind the pump. Hooray! The problem is that I also have to continue to take my shots until next Tuesday. I did not think that this could possibly be an issue, having taken 4-6 shots a day for 24 years. But I think this old ship has had enough of the double life.
I have never bruised so much from shots in my life. It does not seem to matter, leg, butt, belly… bruise, bruise, bruise….and I am not talking little bruises. Big, black, ugly ones. Sigh.
The final straw for me happened this weekend. I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and to see a band. The restaurant/bar was about an hour from my house. After trying on several outfits to make sure the pump was well out of site. I packed my bag, remembering to bring my bedtime Lantus, just incase I was out too late, and I jumped in the car (I was SO proud of the fact that I brought my Lantus with me). I really was feeling like I finally had a good grip on my health.
We met, sat down and started chatting. I could chat with this particular girlfriend for days and still have things to talk about. After a margarita and some chips, I reach for my humalog. It was almost as soon as my arm started to go for my purse that I knew. It was going to be a long reach! My humalog was sitting at home, on my kitchen table. Damn. Damn Damn. I felt like I did in 5th grade when I forgot about a homework assignment, naked and vulnerable, and not anything that could easily fix the situation.
I had ordered a low carb dinner anyway so we ate. Then gave up, what I thought to be the perfect seats to watch the band, and we went on a quest for humalog. 5 pharmacies later, we found it. I convinced them to ignore the “prescription required” on the box, telling the 18 year old behind the counter that yes, it was novalog that you need a script for and not this... I paid my, gsap, $85 for the bottle and we headed back. (I knew that I could get R if all else failed.)
Of course we lost our seats, and had to pay a cover to get back into the same bar that we were just in. But the part that irks me the most, is that my diabetes managed to change our plans. I hate that. A lot. My friend was great, and we had fun trying to find a CVS that had an open pharmacy in a strange town, but for that hour I was different. “Stop your plans and do nothing till you do this” different. That’s that hardest part of diabetes for me. I generally blend in with the crowd, my trials and tribulations of having this disease were my own issue, and until very recently (learning to share those burdens with my husband), no one other than myself saw all of the work that makes it look easy to others.
It amazes me that 24 years later, I am still learning and adjusting to this disease. And yes, the largest bruise to date was a result from my new, very expensive bottle of humalog.
I am ready to get this pump show on the road!
posted by caren at 2:40 PM
4 Comments:
caren--
Great thing about the pump... you always have it with you. No more expensive bottles of insulin!
When I switched to the pump, after 17 years of injections, the saline trial pissed me off to no end. I was irritated with having to wear this foreign hardware thing and also take 11 injections a day. I bruised like a professional. That, and I kinked every cannula I used because I wasn't using an insertion device with the infusions sets.
But.
And this is a big but. (Much like that part in Pee Wee's Big Adventure when they're sitting in the mouth of the dinosaur and talking ... does this ring a bell for anyone but me?) Switching to the pump was the best decision I've made, medically. I didn't realize that for a few weeks, until after I adjusted to the whole new regimen, but it's allowed me to do some things that weren't possible on MDI. Like sleeping in. And going to the gym without having a crash and burn low.
I know you don't need to be "sold" on the pump thing because you've already made the decision, but the transition is frustrating at first. And occassionally afterwards.
And Humalog is freaking expensive when you pay out of pocket.
Captain Underpants believes in you. And so do I.
Hi Caren,
I just found your blog today, and I'll definitely be checking back!
I hate it when diabetes gets the upper hand an manages to intervene and change our plans. And I hte that after nearly 23 years, when I feel I really should have it all figured out, it still catches me out and teaches me new things every once in a while.
But I get a kick out of knowing that 99% of the time, I'm the one in charge, the one showing diabetes how it's done.
And while Keith is right about always having insulin with you in the pump, you can, if you are anything like me or a number of others - judging from comments on a post on the subject on my blog - forget the pump itself! But I really hope you don't.
I hope the switch from saline goes smoothly.
You can visit me at www.diabetes-wise.net
It's so nice to know that other people have had the same experiences.... like the time I went to a 4 day conference and LOST MY BOTTLE OF HUMALOG! It must have fallen out of my purse (see, syringes flying out of your purse in your post above). I spent about 1/2 hour sweet-talking a pharmacist into selling me a bottle of humalog. Then he decided to give me the senior discount (I was 30 at the time) because the non-insurance price was so ridiculously expensive!
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