Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The sun has been too bright

I’ve become a blog slacker. I admit it. But like most things in my life, I go in patterns of hills and valleys.

In no particular order this is my life these days:

We are trying to sell our house. It’s a lovely little house that we have put a TON of work into. It would be an awesome first house or retiree house for someone. We are just looking for something a little bigger, and with more than one bathroom. We are having our first open house this Sunday after listing it on the MLS. Hopefully someone will come with suitcases full of cash and offer us asking price. But with the market changing and slowing in MA, that is a highly unlikely scenario. But a girl can dream.

I booked my first wedding as a florist. It’s a friend’s wedding in September. I am nervous and excited and anxious and it’s awesome!

Our first friends had a baby girl in February. She is the most precious thing any of us have ever seen. When she comes to get togethers everyone just stands around to see what baby Alyssa will do next. Her mom had a perfect happy perky pregnancy and was even working out at the gym the day before she gave birth. No morning sickness, no excessive weight gain, no really worries at all. The baby is adorable, doesn’t say boo, and I’ve yet to see her cry. Everyone is enamored with her.

I am jealous.

I know that I will end up looking like a cow because of the increased insulin I will have to take, be tired all the time from trekking into my weekly doctors appointments, will be high risk and worry from the second we agree to start trying.

If one more person asks when we are going to start trying I will actually answer them with a “real” answer:

* When my a1c is consistently around 6.0.
* When I’m ready to test my blood every few hours all day every day and stress over any reading over 160.
* When I am ready to worry consistently about every carb, every gram, every ounce of food that goes in this body.
* When I am ready to realize that while diabetes has never been an issue for me in the past, people will comment about my “diabetic pregnancy” and reference Steel Magnolias over and over.
* When I am ready to accept that “good for someone with diabetes this long” as a positive answer.
* When I am ready to accept the guilt I will place on myself over and over again if God forbid anything were to go wrong.
* When I am ready to subject myself to medical students, lab tests and various doctors poking, prodding and telling me that my 6.9 is just not going to cut it…
* When I am ready to reaffirm that I work harder than other people to make life look easy but it’s the only life I know, so its “just what I do.”
* When were damn good and ready.

But for now, I just smile and say, when we have more than one bathroom! :)



5 Comments:

Blogger Flmgodog said...

Good luck with the house. We "had" a house with one bathroom. We just finished the basement last fall and put in a bathroom bigger than our bedroom. It's actually quite amusing.
Congrats on the first wedding booking. And AMEN to the answer you should give to each and every person who asks you about having children!!!

11:45 AM  
Blogger Lyrehca said...

Hi--two of my pals in Mass. are closing on new homes this summer, so someone out there is buying. May you find great buyers soon.

And yes, the people who ask what the story is. They're pretty subtle for me, so typically what I tell people is "When we have news to tell you, we'll let you know." It usually shuts people up.

And congrats on the floral work!

3:47 PM  
Blogger Nic said...

You've beautifully listed all of my own "no children" issues. The "damn good and ready" thing should, above all, matter most I think, and really, what business is it of anybody elses? I usually pull the "I'm diabetic" card when I'm explaining our desire to wait. The truth is that is a handy way of saying "We don't want any" because it seems like it is such an afront to people when you say "We're not planning on having children." And rather than feel like we are in the wrong, I'd rather just bypass the issue (and since people still believe the Steele Magnolias scenario, it works pretty well. Misinformation can serve a purpose).

Soon, though, maybe you'll be able to say, "when my floral business is thriving." :-)

8:15 PM  
Blogger Nicole aka Fred said...

Caren, I am hoping that when I tell you that this is Fred (hyper, somewhat annoying, blond girl) from CBC you'll know who I am. I wasn't sure this was you, even when I saw your pic, but then when I read some of your first posts and saw the part about having a red cross on your bum, well knew it was you!!!! Would you be willing to email me???? robillar@simmons.edu I would really love to catch up with you!
xo,
nicole

11:29 PM  
Blogger KSC said...

I think your list reflect what many women/couples feel. I know I spent a lot of time with these ideas before I had my daughter, and when people (relentlessly) ask me about when I'm having another, while I don't rule out the possibility, I have my quick answer, "Guess I should quit while I'm ahead!" What I'd really like to say is; while I'll never regret it, the type 1 pregnancy was a little like pregnancy squared! It all went well, and my daughter is healthy, but realistic worries and dogged dedication to control were almost harder to carry around!

10:54 AM  

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