Sunday, April 23, 2006

Is it too easy?

One of my fears of going on the pump was all of the work that was going to come along with it. Testing more often, checking for air bubbles in my tubing, filling the cartridge, changing the site, carrying the darn thing around with me… too much work. But is it?

Last night, we had Ryan’s sister over and had great time. We had wonderful conversations, some wine and steak tips (a household specialty) after many many “appies”. I had bloused for some of the appetizers and wine as I was munching along. Before we had the official dinner, I checked and was 148. Which was just fine with me.

After indulging in dinner, I ended up falling asleep on the couch and sleepily made my way to the bedroom after a bit of nudging by my husband.

Round about 4am I woke up. Nauseous, and feeling like the Sahara Desert has moved into my mouth. Had I had that much to drink? No way. I got up and stumbled to the living room, which was the last known location of my test kit. 298. I rubbed my blurry eyes and tried to focus again, did that really say I was almost 300? I thanked God for the bolus wizard as I corrected and went back to bed. What the heck happened?

I woke up again around 6. The answer came to me like a bolt of lightening. Duh, you didn’t cover dinner! No wonder I was so high, and honestly, I was a bit amazed that I was not higher. In the 24 years with diabetes, that was the longest I had ever gone before I realized that I hadn’t taken my insulin. Maybe this insulin pump isn’t so bothersome after, in fact, it seems that it is now too easy to make diabetes less of an importance or burden (depending on your attitude) on my day to day life.

The best part was that Bonnie, nicely corrected me to a lovely 98 this morning.

On a side note, today is my husband’s birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday!

From your “secret” favorite movie:

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean?

But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.

The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day.

You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

-*-Shall We Dance

I love you. Here is to many many more.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

My School Yard Bully...

I have been on the pump for 5 weeks so far and I really like it. I did not realize how much of a burden it was to have to take so many shots each day. I’m not complaining about them because that’s just my reality, but it was not until I had to tell myself each night- “it’s ok to fall asleep on the couch because you don’t have to remember to take your Lantus,” that I realized how much of a pain it has been.

I feel like I really have a good handle on my basal and bolus rates, or as good as you’d expect to get. I even used a temporary basal when mulching my yard this weekend. So it seems like this pump transition was easier than I expected.

The problem is the “I can eat anything, anytime” feeling. And the dreaded pump weight gain. I had been doing pretty well in terms of trying to correct blood sugars, but not over eat, thereby increasing my insulin needs. In general, I’ve always been pretty good about not overeating. Well, that is till these little cuties came into the office…

Don’t they look sweet? Sure, I want to help you get your saleswoman of the year badge. I want to support my local troop. So, I got some thin mints. 4 cookies are 22 CHO. That’s not so bad, right? So I added a few to my lunch and continued on my way.

I was driving after work, on my way to class. It’s about a 30 minute drive. I COULD NOT STOP eating those damn cookies! It was like I had been possessed. I ate the whole sleeve on my way to class. In my head I was having the pump weight gain versus good A1c debate…. I gave in and took what I guessed to be the right does. Counting the number of those devilishly delicious morsels that I actually ate was just too “real”. About an hour into class I was so thirsty that I wanted to suck up the puddle outside the window. I ended up in the bathroom, drinking water from my hands. Thank god no one saw me.

Most of the time, I feel like I am really in control of this disease. And then there are times, in the back of a floral design school, where the reality comes out. While I can happily live my life playing games with this thing called diabetes, I was reminded, once again. That I better play by its rules.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

A nice problem to have…

When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me that some day when I am a grownup, testing and taking my insulin will be just like getting up in the morning and putting on my make up. She tried to make sure that I knew taking care of my body in all ways (not just diabetes) was important. We would often put on matching face masks and have pedicures together. As I got into my teenage years, I would always ask for a pedicure for birthdays for my "poor diabetes feet" (wink, wink)

I couldn't help but think of that this morning when I was watching the Today show, drinking coffee, and trying to keep the dog away as I quickly changed my infusion site. It's just my life. Changing my site is just like putting on my makeup. (Although there are often days where I skip the makeup.)

Last night, I was showing some good friends Bonnie for the first time. They were very cool and asked some great questions. One of the things they asked was, "So, you have this on all the time?" Yep, all the time.

I was thinking of that this morning as I was talking with my husband about my 30th birthday (coming up all too soon) And since some things do not change, I immediately wondered how I could work a trip to the spa into the big day plans. (I have even gone so far as to ask my endo for a script for a pedicure after he examined my feet. He laughed, I guess he thought I was joking.) I love the spa. I love going and papering my skin and muscles. It is my ultimate guilty pleasure. This body does a lot for me, despite the whole autoimmune thing, I should be nice to her. But then I was thinking about logistics of it all. How does one get am hour and a half body scrub massage thing with a pump. I am still stumped.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

My Top 5...

Thanks Kerri! Why work when you can Blog!? :)

Top Five Non-Diabetes Related Websites
* Google.- How else would I know what my ex boyfriend was doing AND what hotels are cool in the Napa Valley.
* – carry over from wedding planning.
* Hotmail- does that count?
* I am perfecting my online bargain hunting skills.

Top Five Reasons You’re Grinning Today
* I have finally done something I’ve wanted to do for YEARS. I am in floral school part time at nights. It’s always been a dream of mine, and I am psyched to be doing something about it! I am hoping to do weddings and events with my long time friend. ANYTHING is better than sitting in front of a computer all day!
* My husband is coming home from a week long business trip today.
* We found out that my beloved “Max” (a 1998 jeep cherokee) only needed $350 worth of work to get what sounded like a little man trapped in the engine out.
* It looks like a blizzard outside and it reminds me of my wedding in December. We got 2 feet of snow the day before the big day.
* We are going to my favorite restaurant this weekend. “The Coach Grill” It’s been 3 years since we got engaged. (April 10)

Top Five Uses for Bacon Bits
* To get my husband to do just about anything! J He LOVES bacon.
* A few sprinkled in my dog’s dish to make her think her boring old food is exciting again.
* Getting the yard work done (see above post regarding husband’s love of bacon)
* Getting the oil changed in the car (see #3)
* Getting the laundry done (see #4)

Top Five Places You Want to Travel To
* Anywhere where and inevitable adventure will ensue…. I love to travel!
* Africa- for Safari. I LOVE giraffes. Also know as “haraff-ies” I have a feeling this one will take a while to accomplish.
* Alaska
* Napa Valley
* Nova Scotia- I LOVE oysters, I’d be psyched to get some PEI’s right from PEI!

Top Five Guilty Pleasures
* Medical reality shows. My husband hates them, but since he travels for work a lot… I get to enjoy them as much as I want…
* Shopping at Macy’s. For some reason I feel like I didn’t really spend money if I put it on my Macy’s card.
* Weekend get away’s. Because of DH’s travel schedule, we have lots of points and miles at hotels and we use them for adventures!
* Eighties Big Hair Bands- Bon Jovi tops that list!!
* Really good raw bar seafood. Oysters, clams, shrimp….